It’s OK to Call Me a H8r

For those who are wondering, this is part of a series of posts:

There are at least five more to come in the series, so please do not think I am sharing everything in this post.

Opening Thoughts

I have been turning over ideas and past conversations in my head for sometime now. Even as I write, I feel some hesitation — the possibility of outspoken backlash is not something I’m looking forward to.

On the other hand, events, expressed ideas, and general attitudes cause me great concern. As a concerned citizen, not only is it my right to speak out — it is my duty. Sometimes, someone needs to express unpopular ideas so that others have the chance to think and reason. If that makes me a “hater,” then so be it.

What I have Witnessed and Experienced

Homosexuality and same-sex marriage are emotionally charged issues.  I am not surprised when strong emotions are expressed.  However, I have still be surprised at the things people will say in the name of “tolerance.”

  • “Whatever you bigots need to justify your absolute and total hatred so you can sleep at night….”
  • “Your ignorance is showing….”
  • “I have never read so much crap in my life. I’m over you “Christians” and “Mormons” thinking your so high and mighty and bigger than everyone. You follow rules from a book made by a man with a clear mental illness claiming to have heard the word of “God” ….recheck your priorities, please.”
  • ” Oh just shut up. We heard ya and frankly I don’t care.”
  • “No matter what you say, I know this is all just about your religion.”

These are some of the nicer ones.

One of my biggest issues with the debate is that no one seems to be seeking to understand the other side anymore. Quite honestly, I find it highly offensive for complete strangers to assume they know what is in my heart and mind because of a political/moral stance that I hold. Without looking at my words, and without knowing my heart, some assume that I despise those who are not exactly like me. Others decide that I have taken the privilege of speaking for God and will emphatically state that God hates homosexuals. Other than this last sentence (which I hope those who oppose my stance will quote in its entirety), I challenge anyone to find me stating those things in public or private. Even if I actually believed those things, I would never presume to speak the mind of God.

While I cannot say that I completely understand those who stand opposed to me on the issue of same-gender marriage, I can say that I have tried. As I will talk about in a later post, I know — very deeply and personally — the pain of loving someone and desiring them sexually and yet being restrained by my moral and ethical codes from expressing that intimacy. I understand the frustration of being prevented from marrying the one I love. It is not something I would wish upon anyone.

A friend from high school just traveled to New York to marry her long-time girlfriend. I longed to be able to give her a full, unreserved, expression of support! I am grateful that she knows me well enough to understand that I wish her and all her loved ones the very best. This friend has taught me a lot about loving those who don’t agree with me and not taking disagreements personally. I love her for keeping my world from becoming tpo bland — her views and feelings keep me real.

What I Hope to Accomplish

For those who are wondering, I am not bored and just trying to “stir the pot.” I know a lot has been written back and forth on the issues of homosexuality and same-gender marriage. I accept that I am not an expert in any of the fields in which I will be speaking.

What I hope to do is show how a thoughtful citizen has come to her conclusions on issues and will stand by them even when they become unpopular.  To that end, I will be proceeding through the following ideas in the next few weeks:

  • A look at claims for and against the political issues surrounding homosexuality using the basic “areas” of truth: facts and data, logic, and ethics.
  • An examination of how my personal experiences have colored my views.
  • A probe into my religious beliefs and how they affect what I think and feel about the political issues.

Like other bloggers, I will be doing my best to present what I understand about areas where I am not an expert. I haven’t claimed to be. I simply want to state, once and for all, how I have come to where I am.

If, after reading my thoughts, you still think that I am a closeted bigot filled with animosity, then go ahead — call me a H8r.


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