I apologize right now to anyone who is hoping that I am going to give them a rich, traditional logical argument that we can hash back and forth. I wish that I could, but I am seriously lacking in that training. Maybe I should add that to my bucket list.
I will present logic in the way that I see it. Anyone who sees issues with my reasoning or my arguments is more than welcome to comment. Please remember that all comments are moderated before they are posted, though. I am not afraid of dissenting opinions, I simply will NOT tolerate disrespect and rudeness on my blog. I would love to see a deep and respectful discussion of the issues occur.
If you would like resources to help you understand the study and application of logic, here are some resources to get you started:
Arguments for Same Gender Marriage
- We can’t help who we love.
- I don’t see this one play out in real life. I see potential partners rejected, even when the other person is “crazy about them.” There is some criteria that is lacking, and it is a deal-breaker.
- I see couples “fall out of love,” realize that they don’t want to lose what they have, and put in the work to “fall back in love.” If we are helpless to have any control over who we love, how does that happen?
- Here is an article from Meridian Magazine that explains the concept. Even though it’s written from a heterosexual viewpoint, the principles apply fairly universally.
- My rights are being violated/I’m being discriminated against.
- Possibly, but I’m not convinced. Has marriage actually been established as a right in this country? If not, there is no established right being violated by establishing that marriage can only legally occur between one man and one woman.
- Science has not conclusively established that sexual orientation is immutable and uncontrollable. If personal thoughts and attitudes can influence sexuality (even if it requires a lot of effort), then the “rights” argument is ridiculous.
- The heterosexuals have made a mess of marriage and family, anyway.
- To me, the reasoning of this argument is backwards. It’s like saying that the room was already a mess, so anything that I add to the mess won’t matter. That’s not true. It also takes the focus away from cleaning the mess up.
- Applying this idea back to marriage, The argument seems to imply that heterosexual marriage is superior. If two-parent, committed (and married) heterosexual homes are the most stable environment for raising children, why would we want to authorize another, lesser, environment for children? Do we really want to add to the burden of single-parent homes, children being raised by extended family members, foster care, and the like?
- Children grow up just as well-adjusted in gay households.
- I have given some brief thoughts on Peggy Drexler and similar studies in a previous post.
- These studies are so difficult to conduct equitably! How do we factor out abuse, neglect, parenting styles, socio-economic factors, community factors, and other things that influence the development of children?
- If we cannot conduct a study to make sure that we are comparing apples to apples, then this argument cannot be “proven” either way.
- _____ (name your favorite criminal) was raised in a heterosexual household.
- This is the most ridiculous argument I have encountered yet. Would we shut down Yale because one or two graduates became career criminals and embezzled millions of dollars? Would we use the occurrence to insist that Yale change its entrance standards to equalize for those who don’t fit?
- Heterosexual households have produced great and amazing leaders. So have single-parent homes. The problem is that the exception cannot be the rule. Historically, the best outcomes have occurred in homes where the mother and the father are committed to each other and to successfully raising their children.
- This is just based on your religious beliefs, and you can’t force your religious beliefs on me.
- You are right that I cannot force my beliefs on you. You can believe that I am wrong for as long as you wish. With the freedoms we have in America, you can even talk about me on TV or write about me in a blog and try to tell the entire world about my follies.
- On the other hand, societies have always had the right to establish norms, and those norms (or expectations) are supposed to be based upon what is best for the society as a whole. Once the rules are established, then exceptions can be dealt with. While this is harsh if you happen to be an exception, it is generally necessary for the good of society.
Arguments for Traditional Marriage
- Traditional marriage follows the laws of nature.
- I’m not sure that I completely buy this argument. My personal observations and even my religion teach me that nature is not perfect. In fact, it can be quite messy and unpredictable.
- On the other hand, there are definitely laws that govern the way things work. Humans have tried to change these laws, and the results have generally been undesirable. (An example would be the genetically-modified food debate. Is it causing diseases?)
- Children need the influence of both a father and a mother.
- Logically, it would seem that if it takes both a father and a mother to create a child, then the influence of both would be best for that child.
- Years of experience and study have shown that mothers and fathers working together toward a common parenting goal usually raise children who are better adjusted than parents who cannot “get on the same page.”
- Men and women have differences in their brains, differences in their thought patterns, and differences in their behavior. When both are committed to raising children well, these differences give their children richer life experiences to draw upon.
- Children need to know their “roots,” or the people they come from.
- Generally speaking, there is an observed desire in people of all ages to know where they come from. Almost every adoption story and adopted child/adult I have ever known wants to have some connection with the people responsible for bringing them into this world. The way that is the most effective and allows the child to know the most about his or her history is through a committed heterosexual home.
I wish I had the time to go back and actually present this in the way that it should be presented in the field of logic. Instead, you have read the logical processes I have been through that have led me to my stance on same-sex marriage.
This is an entry in a series of posts on same gender marriage. If you would like to read the rest of the articles, see the list below.