The Ring Around My Neck


I wear my engagement ring on a chain around my neck. I’ve had various reactions since I began the practice:

  • “Wow. It’s kind of like you don’t really want to marry him.”
  • “It’s because you teach a lot of drumming, right?”
  • “Oh. I thought it was because you were in love with someone who died.”

I can see where I confuse people (including gas station attendants trying to flirt with me), but I don’t mind — I love telling the story.

I have had a longer relationship with my fiance than I was married to my ex-husband: somewhere around seven or eight years. He met me and became interested in me when I weighed about 225 pounds. By the time he proposed, I was up to almost 250 pounds, and he had no reason to believe that my weight was going to do anything but rise.

So, I have refused to get the ring resized, and I wear it on a chain around my neck. I want the reminder — forever — that there is someone in this world who sees the real me, and loves all of me — the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. I want to be reminded to count my blessings and always feel grateful to have such an amazing man in my life.

It’s an incomplete list, but

  • He knows my deepst hopes and dreams, my darkest secrets, and my most terrifing fears.
  • He is open and honest with me.
  • He chuckles at my weaknesses, and then repeatedly jumps in to dig me out of the hole I’ve made for myself.
  • He offers advice, and forgives me when I chafe because I want to be the wisest person in the room.
  • He thinks stories about how awkward I felt as a gas station attendant was hitting on me are truly funny.
  • He encourages me to follow my passions.
  • He thinks spending time with me is the greatest investment he could ever make.
  • He accepts me and loves me for who I am, but he’s strong enough and confident enough to embrace me as I grow and change.

So, I may be engaged to a man who will never show up on anyone else’s “hot 100” list, but he’s filled every spot on mine!

And that is why — even though I’ve taken off 50 pounds and will probably run off more — I may never get that ring resized and why I intend to always wear it on a chain around my neck.