We had just settled in for an evening’s sleep when my husband rolled over and put his head on my tummy. He has only done this a couple of times in our marriage, so I held him and waited. When he spoke, it was with a sincerity that ripped my heart, “Do you ever regret marrying me?”
You see, my husband didn’t come to me fresh and clean any more than I came to him without any baggage. By our second date, he was sharing his story with me, because he knew how bitter my own divorce was and how his history could have lasting effects on my children.
I have never regretted marrying John, but sometimes the price has been high. His ex-wife contacted my ex-husband, who devoured her version of the story with relish and used it to further entangle the kids in a bitter battle between adults, and I was eventually forced to let them go so that they could have something that resembled peace. I have had to separate my husband from my job. The worst, however, is watching my husband struggle with members of our church who would claim the Savior’s ability to forgive all of their own personal sins and permanently change their hearts and natures – but deny the same power to my husband.
I feel impressed to begin a series on serious sin and repentance as I have experienced it. At no time will I be sharing my husband’s past – it happened before I knew him, and it is only his story to tell. I will, however, explore
- Why I came to trust my husband enough to believe his story and to tie my future to his
- What my husband’s choices have taught me about true repentance
- How my husband became an anchor when God called me to overcome my biggest weakness
- Why my husband chooses to have “a record”
- How I’ve learned from my latest experiences that I still have a lot of growing to do, and how my husband helped me to remain faithful to my covenants with God
- Why my husband remains one of my biggest heroes
My husband knows a bit about my intentions, and he is nervous but supportive. (Either that, or he has just resigned himself to the fact that I am so strong-willed that I am simply going to do what I’m going to do!) My hope in writing this series is that it will cause readers to stop and think about the power of repentance and having faith to accept those who truly have repented.