I have put together a win-win for anyone that helps me in my quest to help the kids and families of St. Jude Hospital. Read about it on my Facebook newsfeed.
Because I am far from perfect, I often feel deep remorse for mistakes in my life — and even deeper contrition for the times that I have purposefully struck out at others. I even hurt for the pain I may have caused others without intent and without any knowledge. Because of these feelings, I have looked for ways to repair the damage I have done.
One of the blessings the Lord has given me is the ability to forget. I have very few memories of my life, although memories will come floating back from time to time. Since I am a circular thinker, I do count it as a blessing even though I often wish I had better recall of the good times.
Recently, as I struggled through my career loss and identity crisis, I realized how much I had forgotten about the misery I endured after my divorce. I couldn’t see it then, but I know now that I had created coping mechanisms that caused me to see life negatively. I saw enemies where I really had friends. I am incredibly grateful that I have learned to turn to the Lord and reach out to others because I was able to recover without doing too much damage to myself or anyone else.
Having a chance to remember the suffering I caused myself has given me a deeper sense of empathy. Understanding how much of my suffering was my own fault was eye-opening. Among other things, it made me realize both how easy it is to hurt other people and how many times I overreacted.
When Neill F. Marriott spoke at the women’s session of general conference, I was electrified, but all I heard was the part about healing breaches. I was ready to run out and try to repair all the damage I had done. Fortunately, I knew from past experience that I was more likely to do more harm than to do any good. My hesitation gave me time to go back and reread Sister Marriott’s talk.
By reading closely, I realized that my part in healing breaches is to “cleanse the inner vessel.” I am to do the things taught in the gospel plan that will purify me and make me worthy to be led by the Spirit. The breaches I need most to heal are the ones in me. The other breaches are up to the Lord.
He may allow me to personally undo some of my misdeeds and mistakes, but he may not. He may send others to do what I cannot. He may choose other means, and he may wait until the eternities to finish the healing. The Lord is the Great Physician, and he is the Master Healer.
In the comments, tell me about an experience you have had with Christ as the Master Healer? How has he repaired part of your life or the life of someone you know?